The Nature of Things

14 February 2011

We want to hold back nature. Nature pulls what has been created back to herself fairly easily, fairly quickly. I'm keenly aware of this force right now while I'm in the middle of getting a grip on a historic property. Nature has been pulling on this structure for a hundred years. It's been pulling on me for fifty. And in the great expanse, neither one of us are even noticeable, though we are unique, briefly.

Just as nature pulls us back, it is the nature also of our existence to resist and to retain what life source we have for as long as possible. It's time now, to stand proud, while it is that time.

Finally, A New Page

2011 January 11th

I always say that a good year is one in which a lot of things happen, even if they feel bad while happening.

This beginning today feels very, very right. Papers are signed, money has passed hands, keys have come to me, and now, finally, I am in position to be in business.

The wind is sweeter than it ever has been.

Thank you.

The trail hike down Ackerman today was no less than a return to Narnia.

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Pain Like Flower Petals

2009 September 17th

Pain filled the body and mind like a beverage gushing and washing over the rim of the glass of me last Friday as I knelt before Bootstrap who'd run into the street and been hit. There were several people involved in this event, all with different roles, different minds and histories, stories and perceptions. And though we can hold hands in the fact that we were present for the same event, each person has his own complete tapestry which this event wove into.

No event involves punishment or a "hard lesson" from God. It feels that way sometimes as we feel we deserve punishment. God is gracious and giving. The voice and opportunity are there like air, always, and are always loving.

A missed opportunity exists every time we don't seize growth and understanding in situations like this, and I mean this in a positive way... not in a "hard lesson" way. God's grace will present itself again if we miss this opportunity. It is grace, though it may hurt.

I predicted last weekend that in retrospect the event would become clear and that certainly this was God's chess game, and that as many people were involved, it was certainly a powerful move. Today, I see clearly my part; I see clearly my responsibility. It was a spiritual awareness disregarded due to atrophy. I was presented with choices I could not recognize until it was too late.

Choices made in innocence, blindness, and deafness are okay. Where the shame lies is if we become aware yet do not awaken but go back to sleep. And still, it falls into the area of "too bad", not some sentence to hell. How can we truly accept God's grace and love if we paint it black?

I am sorry. It is unfortunate that it took a significant emotional event involving others to awaken me from slumber. Will I return to sleep? I don't know. It's the same question as asking one who has quit smoking if they will smoke again.

I am grateful. I am grateful for the ability to see miraculous events even in seemingly dark places. I am grateful for this gift of this event.

Weaving My TimeSpace From Particles

2009 May 8th

I've always said that art has One Source. All else is not art. This then, is the remedy for the dilemma of "What to do with all of those particles floating about in the area of potential?" It's time to refer to the Guidebook of Inner Knowing, while turning down the volume on the daily meaningless chatter. What ingredients shall we stir into our soup bowl of life? How will it taste?

Weaving my TimeSpace

2009 May 8th

In one moment, I sensed that all of one's past events are like holographic woven sheet, whereas all potential events are like individual particles floating about in a sea of possibility.

Those stories of events which have already occurred are certainly holographic, changing in hue and appearance depending upon one's observation. Keeping that in mind, even while weaving my TimeSpace throughout my life, I must remain cognizant of the stories and plays which arise from my environment's infinite perceptions.

It seems the more I play on the field of shallow perceptions, the more I draw notice and perception on that level. And it is apparently difficult to forget previous travels upon lower planes of perception, for the mind seems entertained by the return to that thought field.

In this moment I choose to tell my story in a powerful way. In other moments, the story is of common struggle and lack.

What's Playing at the Theater?

I walked into a business meeting yesterday, like a movie theater. I thought I recognized what was playing, but just as the movie was coming to a conclusion, like The Twilight Zone, it switched to a completely different scene.

I was able to suddenly see into someone's mind, someone's alter-world. It was dark and frightening. The rules were powerful and different there. And like a bad dream, I was held there for some long moments, incapable of speaking, horrified. And after, just like a dream, I had difficulty accurately retelling the details, the words.

We often drive through life, gazing out the window at McDonald's and Wal-Mart, at high school stadiums and county roads, oblivious to the basements and cellars of people's minds.

Laws, regulations, and social norms often keep things in check, reminding us what's okay, what's not. But always, while we're sitting at the table with our apple pie, there are entire universes intersecting with our space-time. And sometimes there is a nightmare in our daylight. And there are people who will impose their nightmares upon others, and hold them there without release.

I pray for the end of nightmares.